“Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.”
Marvin J. Ashton
We are quick to remember being chastised for our parenting abilities, sabotaged by coworkers, or cheated on by a partner. We are sad, furious, bitter, and even vengeful due to the wounds we have received. These feelings can consume our minds the same way physical pain does when we break a limb. We are unable to move on and enjoy life when we become fixated on our suffering. It is necessary to practice forgiveness to move beyond the feelings evoked when we are hurt.
In this blog, let us look at the forgiveness process and the steps involved in practicing forgiveness.
Lament: It is critical to pour our sorrows out to a loved one rather than allowing them to hurt others. By sharing our pain, we allow ourselves to be open and frank about what happened and how it affected us.
Letting Go: To forgive yourself and others, strive to relax your attitude about being human, and accept that people are flawed. Recognize, however, that when people know more, they prefer to do better. Much learning to know better is included in the self-exploration that contributes to healing.
Reconciliation:Reconciliation is the process of rebuilding the relationship and trust with someone who hurts us. Only when all parties acknowledge their roles in the issue, seek forgiveness, and actively change their behavior may lead to reconciliation.
Forgiveness does not always imply reconciliation with the person who has offended you or approval of their conduct. You seek peace and understanding via forgiveness. Instead of harboring hurt feelings and giving the person who hurt you power over you, search for the love, beauty, and goodness surrounding you.
The Bottom Line
When deciding whether or not to forgive others, it is good to think about their life experiences. The fact remains that it does not absolve them of their actions. However, the more you understand the factors that influenced someone's decisions and behavior against you, the more clearly you can see the fundamental flaws of human nature.
Learning from and finding sense in your emotional wounds is essential for letting go of resentments and practicing forgiveness. You will rise above the pain by making sense of it and understanding what it has to tell you. You can improve yourself by going through it, but you must first go through it. You have to accept, experience, process, and release to heal and come out stronger. In the words of author Haruki Murakami, “When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”